Sometimes Love is Worth a Second Try

Dedicated to my first love...
(If I find this anywhere, I will hunt you down playa...j/k but serisouly)

Can I borrow your ears for a second??
I need to do some reconnecting with this whole poetry thang...
Because, rhymes used to flow in and out
     and all through my brain.
Then, quick like sand,
I put my thoughts in my right hand
     and let the pen speak for me.

But see, lately...
There's no fire in me.
I'm tired. I'm uninspired.

But that's more than just a true statement:
It's the complete and utter manifestation of my frustration
     with my placement in this world.

I'm no longer a little girl,
So, why still treat me as such????

Cool to the touch, I've become,
But I never wanna become one of those "cold" bitches
One of those "I don't give a fuck and I'ma let you know" bitches.
But that's what the world is doing to me.

So I turn back to my first love:
Poetry.
And I slip back into the sweet serenity of symmetry
because I know in my heart,
she'll always have a place for me.

This is dedicated to the lovers...and the haters...

February 14...a day of gifts, hugs, kisses and a lot of other mush for some. February 14...a day of self loathing, jealousy and sadness for most. But don't fret, Valentine's Day candy is always atleast 50% off the next day!

Trust me, I'm not encouraging you to binge on discounted chocolate if you are alone on Valentine's day (although, I won't judge you if you do. I probably will. lol). I simply want you to look on the bright side of things. If you are alone and single on Valentine's Day, don't feel lonely. Feel proud that you were able to avoid a frivolous two week relationship simply to get free candy and flowers.

If you are in a relationship and you are alone on Valentine's Day, unless there were extenuating that prevented you from spending the day with your honey, you may have some other issues on your hands, but I'm all about this positivity today...If he didn't say "Happy Valentine's Day" before you walked out this morning, don't be upset. Does he tell he loves you everyday? Does you know that he means it? Ok then. This really is just another day...

If you are in a troubled relationship, take your alone time to really evaluate your place in the relationship and if it is even worth the trouble. Instead of being sad about what you didn't get or what she didn't say, look within yourself for the love you are so desperately seeking from her.

But back to you singles, I could go on and on and remind you over and over to love yourself, but you know this by now. Be patient and wait for someone that will love you for a lifetime instead of just for one day. Wait for the person that gives you flowers without reason and that loves you because they feel honored to be allowed to.

It's worth the wait, boo and so are you :)

Emotions...who needs 'em?

Close your eyes...actually, keep reading and envision in your mind... It's 2:18 on a Saturday morning. Your girlfriend is lying restlessly on the couch watching an old Family Guy episode. Stewie beats Brian mercilessly on the screen and yet, she doesn't crack a smile. She picks up her phone and dials your number. Ring, ring, ring..."You have reached the voicemail of..." The smell of pissed off fills the room as she calls again. No answer. Her head begins to steam and her heart races as she dials again. Ring...(and straight to voicemail) You have reached the voicemail of..." The words pierce her heart like a flaming dagger through her chest and she begins to cry...

In case you didn't know, girls are over dramatic, hypersensitive and EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL creatures! A simple missed call can turn into "Are you cheating on me?" "I thought you loved me, why didn't you answer?"  "OMG, he's ignoring me!!"

Now, before I really get started, let me set one thing straight. We humans, as a species, are all emotional creatures. We all feel sadness, joy, grief, jealousy and hopefully, love. What distinguishes men from women as emotional creatures, is the way we let our emotions effect us. And unfortunately for some, it's the way we let our emotions control us.

As H-Town taught us, "Emotions make you cry sometimes. Emotions make you sad sometimes. Emotions make you glad sometimes. But, most of all, they make you fall in love..." 

With that being said, embrace your emotions, but don't let them consume you. When you get upset when he doesn't answer the phone, don't call 16 times. Your emotions are making you do that, and you are only making him want to talk to you even less. When you're sad that he won't come over and see you, don't beg, because he's going to think you are needy. If you have a misunderstanding and he calls you a bitch, don't act like one, because you are only proving him right. 

One of the hardest parts of a relationship, is finding a partner who will listen, understand and care about your emotions. Notice, I'm not saying "feelings." Sitting down, talking about a girl's "feelings" are like a death sentence to a lot of guys. They are exact same; guys are just stupid...sorry, lesbo moment :) 

If your mate doesn't listen, find one who will. If your mate doesn't acknowledge how you "feel," find one who will. Find someone who let's you love them without the strife. Find someone who doesn't abuse the fact that you love them. 

Control your emotions. Don't let them control you. You're too beautiful for those tears honey :)

At Last, We Meet Again

That awkward moment after your breakup and you have to move on with your life...I like to call this moment "Finding Your Way Back to Yourself."

Imagination time:
~You're standing alone in a dark room. It's pitch black to be precise. There are no windows, only a door that you know exists, but you can't see it. There isn't even a glimmer of light under the door, giving you hope for light outside. Naturally, you stand there for a second, panicking and contemplating which foot you will move first and which direction you will step in. You take the first step, only to stub your toe on a table. You grab your foot, hop and curse for a second and take another step. DAMMIT!!! A chair this time. And the same toe.

At this point, do you say fuck it and sit down in the chair until the light comes back on? Or do you crouch down a little lower, maneuver more carefully and make it to the door?

If you picked the first option, you probably won't survive a zombie apocalypse. (Sorry, I fit The Walking Dead in my life wherever possible)  But seriously, if you sit down and wait, who knows how long you will be sitting there...Maybe the light bulb blew and it's up to you to change it. Or maybe the darkness implies that you shouldn't be in a dark, meek place, fearful of the unknown.

Get the metaphor yet? Oh come on!!...The dark room is your heart after a break up, as you struggle to move on with your life. Typically, if we make it to that door, we want someone standing on the other side to embrace us and wipe away the tears. But, the person you should want waiting on the other side of the door, is you.

Be your own lover. Fall back in love with yourself before pursuing new endeavors. Consider what you contributed to the breakup and evaluate what you can do differently next time. If you did everything right, then, well, hate to break it to you...you didn't do everything right. That would make you perfect, and my friend, you are not. That's probably why you are single now, Mrs. Egotistical! Lol ,j/k--comic relief.

The moral of the story: breakups are tough shit. We always long to be loved, but *cliche alert* you can't love someone else until you love yourself first. Take your time and feel around in the dark, hopefully you won't get bitten by anything. Stumble and then pick yourself back up. Take some time to realize your greatness, (or realize that you actually suck.) Remember that whatever that bitch didn't do, someone else will.

And most importantly, there are like 8 billion people in the world. Meet some of them, keep it pushing and try again when you are ready. What's the worst that could happen...another breakup?

Shut up and LISTEN!!!

I couldn't have said it better myself...

All great things come to an end...

And once again, break ups suck!!! But you gotta do what you gotta do. Don't you wish Morgan Freeman could narrate yours??!! I damn sure do!! LOL :)

It's too easy to say I love you...too hard to say goodbye

If you're supposed to make lemonade when life hands you lemons, why doesn't it give you sugar, water and the pitcher too? Because life's a bitch, and nothing is ever that easy. Relationships are no exception.

You can only make the best of a situation for so long, especially when you actually don't know what's best. Oftentimes, people find themselves stuck in relationships because they're trying to make the best of them. Both parties can love one another and hate to fathom life without each other, but just like Tina said, "What's Love Got to do with It?" 

When the boat feels rocky, it is up to you and your love to decide if your ship is worth saving if it goes under. Sometimes kids are involved. Sometimes you live together and aren't in a place where separating would be possible, but don't let those be excuses for staying in a relationship. 

Here's a story for you:

Mark and Molly had been dating for about four years when they're boat started rocking. At the beginning, they never argued, Molly smiled all the time and there was nothing that Mark could do that couldn't be fixed with a sweet kiss and an "I love you!" As time went by, they started to disagree on everything and just looking at Mark made Molly's stomach hurt. It even came out that Mark may still have feelings for his ex...harsh huh? Despite they're differences they loved one another so they felt like trying to make it work was the best option. 

They tried. And tried. And tried some more. The more they tried, the more they grew aggravated with one another because they knew they were unhappy. Mark had too many things going on in his life and in his mind to fully commit to Molly, although he loved her deeply. Molly sat him down and tried to make him face the fact that he wasn't quite ready for their relationship, but he refused to just be real about the situation. 

Instead of just agreeing to take some time to figure things out,  Mark stayed in the unhappy home and although they loved each other very much, their relationship is slowly crumbling and now they feel stuck because no one wants to say goodbye...I hope you noticed how many times I said "they really loved each other." Love can't be the only thing keeping you together, and sometimes it not enough to stand on its own. If you need more than that, don't feel bad for knowing you're worth. 

Letting go can be the absolute hardest thing to ever do in a relationship, especially when your lives are completely intertwined; but sometimes, it's the best thing. And when you don't know what's best, take the time to figure it out. If not, you'll be stuck in love and out of luck. Unless there's a vodka fountain there, it doesn't sound like a happy place to be stuck :)