This post is particularly relevant for those of you who have moved on with on your life, and yet, there's an ex that you just can't get rid of. Even more so relevant if you don't have the worrisome ex, but your girlfriend does.
I'm gonna tell you a little true story: Once upon a time, there was this girl, who we'll call Lucy. One night, Lucy went to a party and met a girl named Shaniqua. (I honestly used the first two names that came to my mind, lol) Both Shaniqua and Lucy had girlfriends when they met at this party. Their lovers were absent from the festivities, so naturally, Lucy and Shaniqua sparked a conversation. Numbers were exchanged and friendship was instantaneous.
Before that night, Lucy and her girlfriend were far from being on the best of terms. They argued everyday and love really didn't live there anymore. They broke up a few months after Shaniqua came in the picture and Lucy was left feeling free. Her biggest burden, her tumultuous relationship, had been lifted. She was finally happy.
Now, Shaniqua and her girlfriend also had a rocky relationship, but it was clearly one of those "hood loves." They'd fight and make up. Move out for a night and come back in the morning. That was just them and how they loved each other. As time progressed though, Shaniqua grew very distant from her girlfriend and found comfort in Lucy. The girlfriend knew of Lucy, but she definitely didn't know just how close she was to her girlfriend and she wasn't prepared for what was coming...To make this potentially very long and complicated story short, Shaniqua and Lucy will be celebrating their one year anniversary next month and they've got a bitter ex on their hands.
Although it sounds like this should be a post about cheating, trust me, it's all about the ex.
One could argue that Lucy was a bit of a home-wrecker in this situation, but Shaniqua's girlfriend had it coming. I heard in a movie once "a woman can never steal another woman's man; they go willingly." Shaniqua went willingly and that's what made the ex so bitter.
Constant texts and calls used to flood Shaniqua's phone. The calls would be ignored in front of Jill, but texts would be answered. Hmmm...Those conversations could have been completely innocent, but suspicious none the less.
If you find yourself in this situation, there are a few important things to remember:
*Don't be insecure--If you let the ex feel as though she still has some power over your girlfriend or your relationship, she will take advantage of that. Your girlfriend needs to know that you are confident and another woman doesn't phase you. If she doesn't already know, show her your worth and if she chooses to lay with the dog, don't be there to scratch her flee bites.
*Let her know how you feel--Don't let your girlfriend think she is keeping their relationship from you. Tell her exactly how you feel about it. If you're cool with them being friends, but have some stipulations, put them on the table. If you absolutely detest any communication between them, put that out there too. If your girlfriend can't follow or doesn't agree, there may still be some unresolved issues lingering between the two.
*Try not to give ultimatums--If your girlfriend is like mine, ultimatums probably won't leave you with the desired results because she may not comply. This would be based solely on the principle that you tried to force her to choose. But if expressing yourself doesn't work, you may not have any other choice.
If your girlfriend truly loves you and is truly over her ex, your demands shouldn't be too hard to meet. If you sense any resistance or secrecy, again, there may still be some unresolved issues between the two of them. If your sweetie wasn't ready to commit, she shouldn't have. Give her the opportunity to find a comfortable place to love you and only you.
"If you love something, let it go and if it comes back then this time you'll know." <3
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